This month will mark 24 years I’ve spent as an employee of Watermark. As I often tout, that’s nearly half my life.
It’s amazing to me because the longest I’d spent at a job before this one was one and half years as an assistant to the producer of “The Lion King” on Broadway. In the aftermath of the 9/11 terrorist attack, I decided to leave that job to be close to my family in Central Florida.
I remember my interview as if it were yesterday. I was asked why I wanted a job as an administrative assistant. My response was that I was looking for a career. My plan was to find a company where I wanted to be, start at an entry level position and learn everything I could about how the company worked.
It sounded good and it was what I wanted, but I had no idea it was the exact path I would take at Watermark.
I drank the Kool-Aid early in my career. I loved the work we did. It felt meaningful, it gave me purpose. I wanted so badly to be my best for the community my job served and for the mentor that gave me this incredible opportunity.
I did my job with integrity and devotion, worked my way up the Watermark ladder and loved every step. Although I was enjoying success professionally, it came at a cost to me personally. I had made Watermark the most stable relationship in my life, choosing work and community over each relationship that came my way.
There were great guys that managed to make it work for years and some that came to the realization I was married to my job in a matter of weeks. Either way, my choice was always work success over personal success and that led to the demise of any long-term future with any Prince Charming.
Somewhere along the way I picked up a pretty heavy drinking habit-turned-addiction. I feel like it got me through the personal ups and downs for a couple of decades. Nearing 2016, I realized this addiction was causing more problems than it was solving.
Watermark’s founder and I knew I would be taking over ownership of Watermark come 2016, and I knew my drinking would be a huge detriment to the professional reputation of the paper.
I decided to enter a 12-step program. I did it so I could be my best again, for Watermark and for the community. At the time, full of anger, it seemed typical. I was letting go of something personal to benefit the job I cared so much about.
I approached this process much like I did my career. I went into it knowing nothing. I laid low for a long time and learned everything I could about how it worked. When I was ready, I found a sponsor and began to work the steps.
This went very well for the first four steps. After the fourth step my sponsor moved and we lost touch. It wasn’t that he moved far away, but far enough to make it hard to keep the process moving forward. I didn’t seek a new one and I let work halt my progress. I then split my time between Tampa Bay and Central Florida, and although I kept my sobriety, I stopped working the program and rarely went to meetings.
Knowing I was nearing 10 years of sobriety and only having made it to step four, I sought a new sponsor who could help me find my way to the finish line.
As of this past week I am happy to say I have made it through the 12-step process. It is one of the best paths I have traveled. It has taught me that the perfection I so badly sought is a fantasy. It’s ok to make mistakes as long as we do the next right thing. It brought me closer to understanding myself and others and made it easier for me to communicate with people.
Most importantly, it taught me balance between the work I love and the people I love.
Now, some reading this might be saying, “That bitch owes me an amends!” Some of you aren’t wrong as I am working my way though that very long list every day. As the saying goes, “Progress, not perfection.”
I end each column with the same words, and with each passing day I feel them growing more important: Stay visible, stay strong and support each other.
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