“The Boyfriend” cast. (Photo courtesy Netflix)
It’s unfortunate how poorly so many people view reality television.
Of course, the genre doesn’t always do itself any favors; for decades, the most prominent examples of this medium were drunken fights and jaw-dropping bigotry. But viewers forget that reality TV has evolved along with its eternally growing audience. It still contains wild drama, yes, but recent years have seen an increase in shows like “RuPaul’s Drag Race” and “We’re Here,” which offer nuanced insight into the experiences of queer communities today.
Series like these have an undeniable impact on the many who watch them, with their episodes among the most reliable sources of authentic representation that queer viewers can count on. That’s why reality television as a whole deserves more respect, and that’s why Netflix’s “The Boyfriend” is one of the most impactful programs airing today. The show has become a hit, with season 2 now streaming.
Japan’s first gay dating show, this series brings together a group of eligible men for one summer in ‘The Green Room,’ a house where they’ll live, run a small business, and hopefully find their true love. Overseen by a panel of commentators — a common practice for Japanese reality TV — the series has astounded for two seasons with the genuine emotions on display.
Yet along with the romance, what sets “The Boyfriend” apart is just how informative it is. Not only by offering insight into a queer culture outside of America, but by creating a level of representation that Japan as a country has never seen before. So many scenes and stories on the show are important for LGBTQ audiences across the globe, but what truly sets “The Boyfriend” apart is the simple message that grounds this entire series: it’s not wrong to be gay.
“In Japan, LGBTQ+ people … [they] are prohibited,” said Durian, a commentator from “The Boyfriend” and one of Japan’s biggest drag performers. “They are regarded as nonexistent …[and] for some of the young people, when it comes to the fact that they are being ignored in society, it could lead to them not having pride in themselves.”
It was a sentiment echoed by “The Boyfriend” cast, with the group describing how LGBTQ identity is rarely discussed in public and only shown through stereotypes. “When I was in middle school, the word gay didn’t exist,” described Huwei, a contestant and member of Thailand’s national judo team. “People would use other words, [ones that] usually mean just being [like] women.” This is reflected in the portrayal of gay people in Japanese media, with the cast detailing how the few times they saw gay characters, it was always hyper-effeminate, ultra cheerful men — traits that were used as joke fodder for the audience. “They’re trying to be [funny], and they’re trying to make people laugh, but it didn’t necessarily have a positive impression,” said Tomoaki, whose time on the show saw the man grapple with accepting his own sexuality.
These topics come up naturally on the program, as well as other facets of what it means to live as a queer person in Japan, granting American audiences vital insight into an LGBTQ culture outside of their own. Durian explained their customs further, saying, “Japan is a bit reserved and very quiet. People may be a little frustrated because they think [the cast] should be more direct, but [their behavior] is really a part of Japanese culture. And if viewers can [understand] that, they’ll be happy.”
It can be easy to forget that the fight for LGBTQ liberation looks different in areas across the world. The cast of “The Boyfriend” not only portrays what dating looks like in their country, but also the many ways their communities fight for acceptance that international audiences don’t often get to see. It doesn’t do this in a way that discredits or villainizes Japanese culture — in fact, many of the men profess how much they love the country that raised them. But their national pride is paired with a hope that their country can grow and begin granting LGBTQ people the respect they deserve. It’s this desire that drives so much of the series’ emotion, making it all the more heartwarming when viewers realize just how important “The Boyfriend” is to this ongoing hope today.
“For me, I’d never been a part of a gay community … this is really [the first] time I was able to be really true to myself,” said Ryuki, a college student and the youngest member of the group. Bomi, who spent a majority of the season pining after fellow contestant Huwei, agreed, saying, “When I came to the ‘Green Room,’ honestly, in the beginning, I was scared … for the last 20 years, I have not really been honest to myself. But through the life I had [on this show], I’ve been able to be truly myself.”
The franchise’s inherent inclusivity not only allowed the men to find romance but to simply find community amongst one another. This led not only to great television but also to the entire cast raving about their time on the show, while also recognizing how hard it is to find this sense of belonging for so many LGBTQ people in Japan today.
As the conversation wound down, the men reflected on what their inclusion on this series means for their country going forward. As members of Japan’s inaugural gay dating show, they’ll be providing examples of queer identity outside of the grinning caricatures that have always permeated popular culture. They would finally be giving so many young LGBTQ viewers the knowledge that there are real people like them out there living happy lives today. This realization drove many of the cast to tears, with each expressing how they hoped these episodes would help those viewers desperately searching for representation. And while they all expressed their care, Bomi summarized the group’s thoughts on what they hoped people took away from “The Boyfriend” best.
“I want people to feel that they’re not alone. You’re not alone. I want to tell [them] that we all have the same kind of issues, and there are a lot of people who haven’t really expressed themselves yet … but we are here. We are here with you.”
An uplifting message of community, one that was only possible because of the genuine bonds this group forged throughout their experience. This shows just how much of an impact “The Boyfriend” is already making on Japanese culture, and it’s a reminder for viewers across the world that none of us are alone in the fight for queer equity today.
“The Boyfriend” season 2 is now streaming on Netflix.
The National LGBT Media Association represents 13 legacy publications in major markets across the country with a collective readership of more than 400K in print and more than 1 million + online. Learn more here: NationalLGBTMediaAssociation.com.
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