The other day I was asked to do a threesome. I was out at a club with some friends when I ran into two acquaintances of mine, a gay couple. We were just having a casual conversation when out of nowhere they popped the question. Albeit flattering, it came out of left field and I was just not mentally prepared for that. However, I didn’t want to lose a future opportunity, so I joked and flirted my way out of the proposal.
The next afternoon, I was having lunch with my friend, John. I couldn’t help but divulge the events of my evening. His response was surprisingly not what I expected.
“And?” he questioned with eager anticipation.
“I laughed it off and said no,” I replied. John seemed disappointed with my response. Clearly there was a story there. “Do you and Rick do that?”
“Well, yea,” he said reluctantly.
“You don’t sound like it’s something that you enjoy.”
“It’s fine,” he rebounded. “It’s what Rick wants.”
Ah-ha! There it was; the infamous response by a partner who is compromising their beliefs to please the other. Although, I was curious as to how you just do something, like a three-way, when you don’t really want to do it.
“And you just go along with it, without dispute?” I inquired.
“Well, we have talked about it and it’s something he needs. Besides, I generally don’t have a choice; when I come home from work and there’s already someone there with Rick raring to go.”
I couldn’t help but laugh. “What?! You mean you don’t know about it ahead of time? So…What? Is it like ‘Hi Honey. I’m home. Oh look! The gang bang’s all here.’”
John’s indifference to the situation made me inquisitive. I hopped online and searched “threesomes.” Hundreds of websites showed up. On Craigslist alone, there is a section devoted to couples looking for a third and vice versa.
Are threesomes the new sexual frontier? Men seem to be infatuated with threesomes. Maybe it’s because everything these days comes in threes; Tall, Grande, Venti; skim, low fat, whole; Moe, Larry, Curly… It begged the question; are we really meant to be with one other person or are threesomes the relationship of the future?
I wondered how prevalent it was among my friends and was quite astonished at the results. Besides the couple that made an indecent proposal and Rick and John there were quite a few others, all with different perspectives. First, there was Lee and Rob. Rob had broached the idea. At first Lee was against it, but after pressure, tried it. After only a couple of occasions, he decided it was too uncomfortable. However, that didn’t stop Rob from venturing out on his own. That was the beginning of the demise of their relationship.
Then, there was Mike and Luis, who after a few short years together, decided to “spice things up.” Their situation seemed to work out since they were both on board. They even had a regular third. That was until Luis came home one day and walked in on Mike and the Triple Play and they didn’t have a group activity planned. Apparently, Mike was having an affair with him. Subsequently, Mike left Luis for the pinch hitter.
I was still perplexed by John’s comment that “it just happens.” As fate would have it, I would soon find out exactly what he meant. I was on a bar crawl with my best friend, D and we had reached our final destination of the evening. After shaking our groove thang on the floor, I was going to grab a drink and D wandered off with some gentleman friend. I overheard the couple next to me commenting on my looks. I glanced over to see a handsome couple around my age and smiled in gratitude.
“Love the red hair,” one of them stated. “And you’ve got some moves.”
He looked me up and down.
“Thanks,” I replied, catching my breath and blotting my face with a napkin. I was a tad blitzed and I began contemplating whether this would be my opportunity to see what all the fuss was about and step outside of my comfort zone.
Before I knew it, I was amass with the two of them. Our bodies intertwined, hands and flesh surrounded me. The intensity was apparent. By the time we all came, it felt like it had been hours. I fell back onto the bed, sweat beading across my face and dripping down my chest. I let out an exasperated, accomplished sigh.
As I sat up to grab my clothes, one of the guys (we’ll call him Stud Horse) got up and began getting dressed as well. “You don’t live here?” I asked.
“Nope,” he said nonchalantly.
“Oh, I thought you two were a couple,” I said motioning to the now passed-out fellow participant in the bed.
“No, I just met him tonight as well.” He slid his shoes on. We both exited the apartment. “I would love to take you home to meet my partner.”
I felt like I was in an alternate universe or a Sean Cody set. I’m not sure what came over me. Whether it was the euphoria or the accolades he was spewing, I was all in. We headed down the block to his apartment. He opened the apartment door and led me in. A rather adorable & very flabbergasted man was sitting watching tv. “This is my partner,” he introduced. I introduced myself. He was cordial, but I could tell he wasn’t planning on company.
There would be small talk, though. Stud Horse grabbed my arm and commanded me into the bedroom. How could I argue? He threw me on the bed and climbed on top of me. As we made out and clothes came off, his partner finally joined in. I don’t want this to turn into Gay Erotica, but I gotta say, it was pretty hot.
Later that month, I ran into Stud Horse again at a bar. I wasn’t sure of the hook-up etiquette for a threesome, but I assumed it was similar to that of a one night stand, whereas you pretend you don’t know each other if you bump into one other. However, he came up to me. So, I was polite, said hello and asked how his partner was. He informed me that they had broken up shortly after our Party of Three.
I couldn’t help but feel a tad responsible. BUT that was their choice to have a third. In all honesty, I couldn’t tell you their names, but I can guarantee, they’ll always remember the guy who came between them.
Erik Fact: If you’re going to be part of a threesome, make sure you’re the guest star.
