Former DHS Secretary Kristi Noem (Washington Blade photo by Michael Key)
Former Department of Homeland Security Secretary Kristi Noem said she is “devastated” after reports alleged her husband paid large sums to fetish models and shared cross-dressing photos while married to her.
The Daily Mail first reported the story on March 31, accusing 56-year-old Bryon Noem — the former second gentleman of South Dakota and husband to the former DHS secretary — of exchanging hundreds of messages with three women in the “bimbofication” fetish scene. According to the report, he praised their surgically enhanced bodies and was asked to send them money though various online accounts during the 14 months his wife led the nation’s largest federal law enforcement agency.
He sent them at least $25,000 via Cash App and PayPal, according to the story, that also included photos reportedly show him wearing pink shorts and a flesh-colored top with balloons simulating breasts.
When the payments were delayed or failed to be sent, the women would get mad and ignore him, the story reads. At least one woman who didn’t receive money after texting Noem was so disgruntled she posted about his behavior on social media before later deleting it.
The allegations quickly went viral across social media and major news outlets. Representatives for Kristi Noem told the New York Post she was “devastated” and that her family was “blindsided” by the claims, while requesting privacy and prayers.
President Donald Trump, when asked by the Daily Mail, expressed surprise that the Noem family had confirmed the photos’ authenticity.
“They confirmed it? Wow, well, I feel badly for the family if that’s the case, that’s too bad,” Trump told the outlet that broke the story. “I haven’t seen anything. I don’t know anything about it. That’s too bad, but I just know nothing about it.”
Kristi and Bryon Noem met in high school and married in 1992, according to the Daily Mail. They have two daughters, Kassidy, 31, and Kennedy, 29, and a son, Booker, 23.
The controversy comes after Noem’s recent removal from one of the highest-ranking positions in Trump’s Cabinet. Markwayne Mullin was sworn in as Homeland Security Secretary last week, though Noem remains part of the president’s team as special envoy to the Shield of the Americas, a U.S.-led regional security organization focused on coordinating efforts to combat organized crime, drug trafficking, and illegal migration throughout the Western Hemisphere.
Noem’s political career spans more than a decade across state and federal government jobs. She served in the South Dakota House of Representatives from 2007 to 2011, in the U.S. House of Representatives from 2011 to 2019, and as Governor of South Dakota from 2019 to 2025.
She was confirmed as Secretary of Homeland Security during Trump’s second term, serving from 2025 until her removal following widespread backlash over escalating U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement operations, which included separating children from their families and two separate fatal shootings of U.S. citizens by ICE officers during protests. Trump reportedly decided to fire Noem from DHS after her congressional hearing related to the deaths, in which she stated that the president had approved a $200 million-plus government-funded DHS advertising campaign that prominently featured her.
The reports about her husband have also reignited speculation about Noem’s personal life, including rumors involving Trump supporting political operative Corey Lewandowski, described by some as the “worst-kept secret in D.C.”
Some accounts suggest Bryon Noem was aware of the alleged relationship — and benefited from it. Political commentator Ryan James Girdusky fueled that speculation during an August 2025 episode of the It’s a Numbers Game podcast, citing what he described as “D.C. gossip” that a top Cabinet official — rumored to be Noem — had privately claimed her husband was gay.
“A reporter walked up to her and said, ‘Why are you having this affair? Why haven’t you met up with your husband? Why aren’t you divorcing your husband?’” Girdusky said on the podcast. “And she blurted out to this reporter, who I know, and said, ‘Oh, my husband’s gay.’”
Unlike the unverified claims surrounding her husband, Noem’s political record on LGBTQ issues is well documented.
In 2024, while serving as governor, her administration canceled a contract with a community health worker organization, resulting in a $300,000 settlement with a transgender advocacy group. The contract had included a roughly $136,000 state-administered federal grant, of which about $39,000 had already been distributed, according to the group’s attorneys.
Noem also championed a series of policies restricting trans rights. She signed executive orders in 2021 barring transgender girls and women from competing on women’s sports teams at public schools and colleges in the state. In addition to using executive authority to enact these policies, she signed legislation into law. She enacted House Bill 1080, which bans age-appropriate, medically necessary health care for trans youth — despite widespread support for such care from major medical associations and global health authorities.
Noem also supported legislation aimed at restricting trans athletes, though she ultimately vetoed one bill, citing potential legal challenges from the NCAA while maintaining support for its intent. Additionally, she signed a Religious Freedom Restoration Act that LGBTQ advocates say enables discrimination under the guise of protecting religious liberty.
The National LGBT Media Association represents 13 legacy publications in major markets across the country with a collective readership of more than 400K in print and more than 1 million + online. Learn more here: NationalLGBTMediaAssociation.com.
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