What have you done today to make you feel proud?
I love that song by Heather Small, and now I'm directing it your way because our community is at a critical moment. If there ever was a time for you to do something meaningful that will make you feel proud, it is absolutely now. We need your help to persuade reluctant Orange County officials to create a domestic partnership registry, before the opportunity slips away.
Orlando makes history this month by becoming the first municipality in Central Florida to implement a domestic partnership registry. But Orlando's registry applies only within the city limits, and creates disturbing scenarios where people who live outside the city have to make difficult decisions as to whether to go to the nearest hospital in a medical crisis, or to a distant hospital in the city where they can be sure that their relationship will be recognized.
Orange County leaders have been stalling, exploring reasons to not implement a countywide registry that would provide very critical rights to our community”the right to visit our partners (and their children) in the hospital, the right to make medical decisions for our partners, the right to make funeral arrangements for our partners, the right to participate in the school activities of our partners' children.
After more than a year of talks with Orange County Mayor Teresa Jacobs, and after an invitation from Orlando Mayor Buddy Dyer to work together on a registry, Jacobs is still uncommitted and unenthused.
The envisioned countywide registry is slipping away because county leaders don't think you need or want it. They don't think you suffer when you're not recognized as your partner's family member during medical emergencies. They don't care that state law prohibits you from planning your dead partner's funeral. They simply don't respect your family enough to create a countywide registry to fix those injustices, and all it might take from you to change their thinking is a short letter, email or phone call.
That's it, and without that tiny effort from you, the Orange County Domestic Partnership Registry will be denied. So I ask: what have you done today to make you feel proud? And if it's nothing, if you have not yet made your voice heard, then please do something now before you regret it forever.
Everyone in this community knows someone who has suffered because of the lack of these critical rights. I have written before about my friend Joyce, whose partner Claudia died after a seven month battle with cancer. Joyce was at times disregarded as Claudia's life partner, Claudia's healthcare documents were ignored, and the funeral home where Claudia's body was taken refused to even speak to Joyce about Claudia's expressed wishes.
Another friend was not allowed to see his partner in the ER after he was admitted following a car accident. I asked one local attorney if she could think of any clients who had these kinds of issues and she immediately listed 19 couples. In one instance, the local hospital denied a woman the opportunity to say goodbye to her dying partner because visitation in ICU is for “families only.”
Her partner had no other family, so she died alone in ICU, while her life partner sat alone in the waiting room. We cannot let this inhumanity continue.
I am a member of OADO, a group of concerned citizens who have been working with both the City of Orlando and Orange County towards implementation of a countywide registry. Orlando got on board thanks to a very supportive Mayor Dyer.
My colleagues and I have done everything we can do to get Mayor Jacobs on board. We provided extensive research on registries and models from other jurisdictions. Mayor Dyer provided his staff research and offered to assist in any way possible.
The Orange County Attorney’s office vetted the proposed registry ordinance and reported no legal obstructions. The Orange County Comptroller’s office (which would implement and administer the registry) vetted it and reported no administrative or cost concerns, and they worked with the Orlando City Clerk to help implement the City’s registry so it will be compatible with the County's proposed registry.
Prominent people, organizations and media outlets have contacted Mayor Jacobs to express support for the registry. We have been advised that to date Jacobs has received no communications from citizens opposed to the registry. Jacobs said in a Watermark interview last year that, although she opposes marriage equality for gay people, she believes that gay couples should have all of the same rights as heterosexual couples. In a discussion that I had with her specifically concerning the registry, Jacobs said to me, “Those are important rights. People should have those rights.”
So why on earth hasn't Teresa Jacobs made the obvious right decision to support the registry? It's because she hasn't heard from you.
You haven't told her how important this is. If you care about this registry, if you want to be able to sit by your partner's bedside at the hospital and be consulted about their medical care, if you want to be in charge of planning your partner's funeral when they die, if you want to be recognized as the most important person in your partner's life, now is the time to tell her. Write Mayor Jacobs at Teresa.jacobs@ocfl.net.
I believe that if she hears all of our voices, she will listen and do the right thing. The next step towards equality is up to you now.
Will you do something today?
