It feels like attacks on the trans community are constantly increasing. Anti-trans rhetoric is coming from elected officials, politicians, social media influencers, regular media reporters, athletes and many others. What I did not expect is that it would start coming from our own community as well.
I have seen several posts and articles where some gay people proclaim themselves as part of an “LGB without the T” movement, gay people rejecting and maligning the term “queer” as an identity, and gay people making fun of pronoun sharing or people who use “they/them” pronouns.
It is certainly the case that the LGBTQIA+ community is not a monolith and there will be differences of opinion when it comes to certain things, but the differences of opinion should not be about whether all members of our community deserve the same respect and recognition.
People who embrace the “LGB without the T” movement argue that their interests don’t align with those of trans people, particularly when it comes to political advocacy. Unfortunately, they believe the purposely misleading culture wars that have been propagated by politicians and the media.
They believe that they are better off separating themselves from trans people and that it will somehow increase their chances of being accepted by systematically homophobic institutions and people. Some even think that there is little political advocacy left to be done since marriage equality became law in 2015.
Sadly, what they don’t realize is that in the eyes of a bigot, there is no real difference between a gay person and a trans person. To them, we are all the same reprehensible type of person. Separatists think that rejecting trans people will permanently ingratiate them with those in power — when in reality, who do you think they will target next if they achieve the erasure of trans people?
They will come for the LGB, of course. The culture wars are a distraction from the real issues we are facing like inflation, increased cost of living, unnecessary wars and one health crisis after another. Don’t fall for it: all LGBTQIA+ people are stronger and safer together.
When it comes to the use of the term “queer,” there is a historical context that must be acknowledged. Until the 80s, it was a term mostly used to refer to people in a pejorative way. Because of this, some elder members of our community are not fans of the term since it was used to insult them when they were younger.
This is perfectly understandable and everyone should have the freedom to identify themselves using terms that feel right to them. Nevertheless, starting in the early 90s, the term “queer” was reclaimed by the community as a label of pride and as an umbrella term that can capture the huge variety that exists within the LGBTQIA+ community.
However, the discourse I have been seeing recently is not from elder folks but from younger folks who reject the term because they associate it with loud, unapologetic and politically active gay expression, too extreme in their opinion to deserve to be taken seriously.
Once again, these people think that they can be embraced by homophobic institutions and people by distancing themselves from trans, nonbinary and gender nonconforming people; their internalized homophobia doesn’t let them see that they are putting themselves down along with the others. It is perfectly fine if you prefer to skip the pride parade or if your gender expression is more conventional, but that is not an excuse to belittle your community. Don’t forget, in the homophobes’ eyes we are all the same.
Pronouns have become another point of contention in the culture wars. It is understandable that there are contexts in which it is uncommon to share your pronouns and it is also understandable that it can take some practice before you get used to using singular “they/them” pronouns in everyday language. However, that does not mean that we should make fun of it or disregard pronouns altogether.
Sharing pronouns shows allyship towards trans and nonbinary folks, opening the door for everyone to share their pronouns so that there is mutual respect. It costs nothing to address people how they request to be addressed, particularly someone who is part of your community.
Our community wouldn’t be where we are today without the trans trailblazers who led the way at Stonewall and beyond; the least we can do now is be there for them now. Trans citizens are not asking for anything odd or radical, nor are they asking for special rights, they are asking for equal rights.
Labels like “gay,” “trans” or “queer” are meant to help us feel seen and validated. Even if there are some labels that you don’t fully embrace as your own, you can still support community members who feel most authentic using those labels — and thank you to the straight/cisgender allies who also stand with us, you are part of us as well.
Let’s focus on what unites us and not on what divides us. Let’s not allow heteronormative society to separate us; that is how they distract us to continue to deny us equal rights when it comes to employment, housing, healthcare and so many other things.
Let’s be allies to each other and stand united. It is when we do our very best work.
Sister Juana Reaction is an educator by both vocation and training. As a fully professed member of the Tampa Bay Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence, she spreads joy at local queer events and helps with fundraising for many local charities.
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