Trying to define what makes a woman a lesbian”other than sexual orientation”is just as difficult as describing the lesbian communities of Florida. In both Tampa Bay and Orlando, the population of lesbians range from the boyish 20-something “baby-dyke” to the older, professional woman who runs her own business.
But one thing is for sure”the lesbian communities in both regions are very active, if you know where to look.
“I’ve been in Tampa Bay for a long time and way back when, there were only a few unifying factors that brought the lesbians together,” said Cathy Everingham, who helps run ProSuzy.com with her partner and the group’s founder, Suzanne Noe. “In the old days we would have house parties on the weekends, cook, play games and do things together. There was a house party atmosphere everywhere and friend would bring friends, and that’s how you met new people.”
Everingham says that’s still the case in Tampa Bay today. Many women gather for private parties on the weekends and new additions to social circles are appearing every month. But clubs, restaurants and events are much more willing to welcome lesbians than, say, 25 years ago.
In Orlando, Sue-Bee Laginess has been part of the community for more than 20 years, and she’s thrilled with how active lesbians are in central Florida.
“We’re active, but it depends on your interests,” explains Laginess, who organizes the lesbian social event Phish Phest every month. “If they’re younger lesbians, there’s the clubs and the bars. Then there’s the groups that hang around the neighborhood with pool parties and house parties. I’m that kind of lesbian and Orlando is ideal for that. But the clubs here are great too”unless you want a specific lesbian bar. I think we need that here.”
Currently, Orlando doesn’t have an establishment dedicated to a lesbian clientele. Revolution nightclub, however, has dedicated its Saturday nights to the women in the LGBT community.
“And both Tampa Bay and Orlando have strong softball communities,” Langiness says. “That’s a great way to meet other women, whether you play or just go as a spectator on Sunday mornings.”
Since a majority of players in both the Suncoast Softball League and the Central Florida Softball league are LGBT, finding a lesbian at a game isn’t too difficult. However, outside of that environment, knowing a woman ‘s sexuality can be more difficult, according to Everingham.
“Lt. Gov. Jennifer Carroll said that she doesn’t look like a lesbian,” Everingham says. “But what does a lesbian look like? We come in all different sizes, shapes, backgrounds and looks. You go to the far extremes of really butch to ultra fem. There is such a variety out there and there is no one definition of what is a lesbian. We’re everybody and we’re everywhere.”
Laginess concurs, adding that the younger generation of lesbians seem to be more butch than the older women in the community.
“That’s just my perception,” she laughs. “It could be just here in Orlando, but I’d say about 70% of the younger girls here are boyish.”
Like with any segment of the LGBT community, perceptions change with each generation. Coming out at a young age may seem inconceivable to a woman in her 50s today, yet teens and 20-somethings are happily holding their girlfriends’ hands.
“I was reading the stories about Sally Ride,” says Everingham. “You have all of these critics talking about her not coming out before her death. But you have to remember the climate she grew up in, and our climate. Would NASA have let her get on a shuttle if she had been out? No. Now in retrospect people can say she did a great job doing her job, and so what if she was a lesbian? I think she did what she needed to do.”
There is no longer a “lesbian stigma” Everingham believes, and the older generation of women especially are making up for any lost time.
“I wish everyone would come out,” she says. “The younger generation no longer has the stigma and the older women now have the money and the power. Lesbians are helping reshape the world.”
