Openly gay singer/songwriter Matt Zarley never set out to be a therapist, but with his latest album Change Begins With Me (out this month), he's got a good start if he ever decides to change careers.
The album provides a nice counterbalance”especially for gay men looking for a male point-of-view”to Adele's recent smash “21.” (“That CD is no joke!” says Zarley. “That CD is good! That'll rip your heart!”) Like the British singer's CD, Zarley's album richly explores the difficulties of heartbreak in many of its tracks. But Change Begins With Me also provides songs of recovery, hope and inspiration. If music ever serves as your mental medicine, Zarley's album more than fills the prescription.
“The album is a sort of journal to me,” Zarley says. “I was in a relationship for four years, and when we broke up I did a lot of soul searching. Through that process I wrote a lot of the album. All of the songs came from different parts of that process, of healing and closure.”
Of course, sometimes part of that process can involve anger (it is one of the stages of grief, after all) and the album's lead single expresses that age-old sentiment in an incredibly modern way. “WTF” was inspired by a whirlwind romance Zarley once had that left him with nothing but confusion. Initially the two men met on Facebook”””Cause that's the place to meet people now, isn't it?” Zarley says with a laugh”and eventually met in person.
“We met, and it was sort of electric and surreal, very sweet and romantic,” says Zarley. “But it ended as quickly as it began, with no explanation. Very odd. He was young”27″but old enough to know better. I was in the middle of working on the album when it all happened and kept thinking, What the fuck just happened? What was that? It was so hot and heavy, and emotional, and then nothing. I'd never experienced that before.”
The song is already resonating with listeners. Dance remixes of the track are already making waves on Billboard's Dance Club Music Chart.
Zarley proves he has a heart of gold”and perhaps wears his heart on his sleeve”when looking back at his former paramour.
“I don't think people set out to be malicious and are actually heart-breakers,” he says. “People don't mean to hurt others”they just don't have the courage to be honest.”
Zarley says his songwriting process starts from a very specific place, and then moves on to something more universal. (And really, can you get more universal than asking “What the fuck?” about a relationship that didn't turn out the way you expected?) In his song “Forgive Me For Not Forgiving You,” Zarley continues to explore post-break-up frustrations, which for the record, were based on a previous four-year relationship, and not the aforementioned fling.
“It's about what it feels like when you're wanting someone to own up to their responsibilities for a break-up,” he says about the song. “You're wanting closure, and they don't ever provide it.” And when they don't, Zarley offers up the album's title track.
“You can't expect other people to change,” Zarley says about “Change Begins With Me,” which closes out the album. “You can't look to others to provide closure. You have to look within yourself and make whatever changes are necessary. I realized I had the power to make myself happy. I arrived at some sort of peace with that. I realized this person doesn't have the capabilities of providing what I'd like from him, so I need to make that happen for myself.”
Zarley is extremely appreciative when told his album makes for good”if inexpensive”therapy, and points to one final track as a sort of session closure.
“You'll get to a place where you'll listen to “I'll Always Remember' and you'll know you've sort of healed,” he says.
Considering he was named the first openly gay bachelor in People Magazine's “Hottest Bachelors” issue in 2002, it's hard to imagine Zarley could stay single for long. Indeed, he has moved on and recently started dating someone.
“He's good for me, in a lot of ways,” Zarley says about his new boyfriend, who served as the inspiration for album track “Perfect.” “We've actually known each other for 12 years, and I always knew there was something special about him. He's good for me, in a lot of ways. But I don't think I'd appreciate what I have now had I not had the experiences I've already had. You have to allow yourself to go through whatever you need to go through, to get to that “better' place.”
Hoping to allow gay youth to get to a better place of acceptance, Zarley has also released a gorgeous cover of the Pat Benetar classic “We Belong” as a fundraiser for The Trevor Project.
“I've always been really passionate about The Trevor Project and what they do,” Zarley says. “The work they do is invaluable to the next generation. I come from a childhood where it was pretty easy, a lot of supportive elements. I think these kids, especially in middle America that don't have that sort of outreach, I think it's an amazing outlet for them.”
And that's a recovery program we can all get behind.
Matt Zarley's releases are available on iTunes.
