Dear Truth, Kate has two dogs, Indigo and Maestro, and they are making a mess of my house. Neither dog is properly house-trained and they make messes throughout the house. They also bark and chew the furniture when we leave them alone. Whenever I discipline the dogs, Kate gets angry with me and tells me to leave “her” dogs alone. I think she indulges them at my expense. What should I do?
My girlfriend, Kate, just moved in with me and things between us are going really well. We’ve been together for four years and I love her very much, but her dogs are driving me crazy.
—Dog Tired
Dear Canine Fatigue –
The Truth loves the pooches very much. I’d be lost without my own. But pets are not people; they’re domesticated companion animals who should be at a lower rung than the humans in the house.
The fact that the animals bark, chew and generally behave poorly is a very bad reflection on Kate. Their lack of house-training is flat out inexcusable. Dogs need to understand their place in the pack, and Kate is severely failing in the promise she made when she adopted Indigo and Maestro.
Waste no time in signing the dogs up for obedience training, and then you should both go. Since there are two dogs, that works out perfectly. Each lesson, you should switch who gets Indigo and who works with Maestro. If Kate is unwilling to make the effort—something she should have done when she first adopted them—it is an important reflection on her character. To me it paints the picture of someone who is thoughtless, immature and lazy.
In the meantime, continue to discipline the animals whether Kate likes it or not. Someone has to. You’re not obligated to live in chaos because she doesn’t know how to rear her animals. Here comes the Truth, baby: This problem is not your fault, nor is it the fault of the animals. It’s Kate’s.
Dear Truth,
I have an ex-boyfriend won’t leave me alone. Whenever I see him out at a bar or a store (or anywhere!), he always stands in my line of vision and stares at me. Even worse, if I’m talking to someone, he comes right up behind me and stares at the person I’m talking to without saying a word.
My friends say he has followed them too, and I’m sure he has threatened some of the guys I’ve tried to date.We broke up nine months ago, and I’m ready to move on, but I can’t with this freak stalking me every time I try to meet someone. How do I get him to stop?
—Tired of Being Shadowed
Shadow Boxer,
Break-ups are difficult for everyone but for those who may not already be on solid emotional footing, they can result in some pretty wacky behavior. While it’s understandable that your ex’s ego has been damaged, what he’s doing is really pretty scary. Here’s the good news for you in your campaign to rid yourself of this situation: it’s also illegal. What he’s doing is stalking you, and that’s not just a word to throw around. There is a law against it and remedies if he continues his behavior.
My advice is a little out there, but stick with me. Next time you see him, walk directly up to him and stick out your hand. Engage him in a friendly but confident manner and, if he doesn’t make a break for it (he might), say something like the following: “Look (insert stalker name here), obviously you know I’ve seen you following me all over town. My friends tell me that they see you too. I don’t want to get you into trouble, but the next time I see you near me I’m going to have to call the police. I really don’t want to have to do that but you’re giving me no choice.”
Instruct your friends to behave similarly. And if he continues to mysteriously appear everywhere you are, follow through. Call the cops. He’s clearly drunk with crazy and you need to protect yourself.
