When Hawk Ehnes pulled his car into a parking lot near some kickball fields in Tampa Bay, he wasn’t sure he’d made the right decision. He hadn’t played the sport since middle school.
“I drove around that parking lot four times because I didn’t know if I could put myself out there,” he remembers. “I finally told myself that if I hate it, I can always leave.”
That was seven seasons ago. Ehnes not only stayed for his first open play with HotMess Sports St. Pete, but he also enjoyed himself and found friends. Through the seasons he eventually became a referee and is now a manager of the kickball league that had caused him so much trepidation.
The relationship with sports can be complicated for LGBTQ+ people. For many, they spent their youth on the sidelines or avoiding participation altogether because of a fear of discrimination. For those who did play, they may not have felt like they could truly be their authentic selves.
But things have changed, particularly in Central Florida and Tampa Bay, with offerings that continue to expand via groups like OUT Sports League.
“We started with kickball and now we offer seven different sports, a different one every night of the week,” says John Teixeira, who founded it in 2018. “Next, we plan to offer pickleball in the fall. The response has been amazing.” Bowling, soccer, dodgeball, volleyball and even corn hole are now on the schedule.
There have been similar swells in interest with HotMess Sports in St. Petersburg and Sarasota. The chapters offer inclusive activities to anyone looking for a social outlet.
According to St. Petersburg League Commissioner Marta Opsasnick, interest continues to surge due to a need for more safe social spaces for the LGBTQ+ community and their allies.
“I had my own experience in the queer community as a lesbian and found HotMess in Nashville when I wasn’t sure who I was,” Opsasnick recalls. “It was a safe space to let me be who I am, and I needed something different than whatever else was out there. That’s what we do in St. Pete. You never know what someone’s experience is, and we try to take the pressure off with HotMess.”
Opsasnick started the league three years ago. She says a player’s skill level is less important than simply being social.
Of course, both Orlando’s Central Florida Softball League and Tampa Bay’s Suncoast Softball League have offered sporting outlets since the 1990s. Likewise, Pride Bowling in Dunedin has welcomed the community for more than 16 years and Orange Blossom Bowling Association in Central Florida opened its bowling lanes to the community in 1985. It continues to provide a safe bowling outlet for the community at Altamonte Lanes.
Running groups like the Orlando Front Runners and Walkers, tennis groups like the Orange Blossom Tennis Association, the Orlando Roller Derby and more sports organizations throughout the state also regularly host tournaments and games for LGBTQ+ fans and allies.
Those open doors and welcoming atmospheres are just as important today as they were 30 or 40 years ago, says Bobby Agagnina, commissioner of CFSL.
“We all have this experience of being picked last for a sports team at school and I think we sometimes see sports as intimidating,” he explains. “As queer people, something pushed us away at some point but we’re coming back to it and discovering that there is a group of people who enjoy sports and who are out here having a great time being themselves. It doesn’t matter who you are. That’s why spaces like ours exist and continue to exist.”
SSL Producer Ron Frank echoes that sentiment. He says the league has welcomed all players since it tossed its first slow pitch in 1994.
“LGBTQIA+ people want to be able to act in accordance with their true self in a safe and accepting environment,” Frank notes. “Many of our members have become part of our chosen family, providing love and support beyond the sport of softball.”
Teixeira agrees that safe spaces are necessary for the queer community. He wants anyone joining OUT Sports to know that they are in a welcoming environment, regardless of experience or skill level in whatever sport they choose to enjoy.
“I like to tell people who may find sports inaccessible that they should give us a chance,” Teixeira says. “When you’re playing in a league which is 99% LGBTQ+ players, a lot of people understand your trauma or your background and they know this can be a scary endeavor for you, especially if you are a first-time player.”
OUT Sports players regularly support new members, even offering guidance on how to play and friendly paths to understanding the rules. Teixeira says that their sports are intentionally less aggressive and more “chill.”
Opsasnick says the vibe is similar with HotMess and notes that members are always willing to assist and help newcomers learn the basics. The hardest part, she says, is showing up that first time.
“The whole point of HotMess is to come and hang outside and be active,” Opsasnick says. “No one will judge you for what you wear, who you date, what you look like or how you run. Nobody cares. Overall, it’s just come out and be your authentic self.”
That’s an experience Mitchell Ayers has had since joining CFSL in 2012. Not only is he an out gay man playing one of his favorite sports, but he also gets to share the softball diamond with his parents and his two sisters, who all play ball. It’s a level of support and community that allows him to thrive.
“When I returned to Orlando after college, I really didn’t know how to make friends,” says Ayers, who is now sergeant at arms with the league. “I didn’t think there was anyone else here like me. When I found out about the softball league through the Center, I showed up not expecting to see many people.”
Ayers’ low expectations were shattered when 40 other new players joined him that day, a decision he says changed his life. He soon found himself socializing on and off the field.
“I lived with my parents, was getting ready for law school and just sat around the house,” Ayers notes. “I told myself, ‘This can’t be it.’ I joined the league and seeing so many people like me — and so many people not like me — was just wonderful. I’ve never looked back.”
Even more impressive than the influx of players throughout Central Florida and Tampa Bay is the willingness of those leagues to collaborate and work together. Gatekeeping is virtually non-existent and memberships cross multiple lines for players.
It’s a gentleman’s agreement of sorts, Ayers says. When he’s not playing softball, he’s on the kickball field or playing dodgeball with his friends at OUT Sports.
“We all go to each other’s events,” Ayers explains. “It’s all just about having fun.”
Opsasnick echoes that sentiment, noting HotMess is not in competition with other local leagues.
“One of us doesn’t have to lose for one of us to win,” Opsasnick says. “We are all here to provide a safe space for queer people to play sports. I encourage everyone to try different things out. It’s good to have so many options.”
The leagues can accomplish much more by working together than by working alone, Agagnina says. He advises that providing more options expands each organization’s reach and influence, which benefits the community at large.
“As a gay person who enjoys sports there was always this feeling of shame of who I am or that I can’t be myself in a sports space,” Agagnina says. “Now with all of these offerings and with a larger view of acceptance and equality, there are more places to be active and be your true self now more than ever.”
Since it launched seven years ago, OUT Sports has seen phenomenal growth. When it started, 75 players participated — and this year, Teixeira says, more than 5,000 individual players have experienced at least one sport. He largely credits word-of-mouth.
It’s a similar story for HotMess, which began with 65 kickball players three years ago and has since seen more than 1,700 individuals participate. It shows an ongoing need for social spaces in the community.
“The point of OUT Sports is to try to get the queer community off their apps and to meet people organically in person,” Teixeira says. “I think a lot of people in our community find it intimidating to go up to someone at a bar and just say, ‘Hey.’ But in this circumstance, in this environment, you have something in common.”
Many players have found that LGBTQ+ sports leagues can build friendships and even romantic relationships. Agagnina says he has made many friends through the league and has seen CFSL adapt to the community’s needs.
“We have almost 700 members and we had 41 teams last season,” Agagnina says. “The league continues to evolve, and we always want to be sensitive to the needs of the membership.”
SSL has also evolved, Frank says, but its mission to provide a safe space remains intact. He explains that the league has “started holding more social events throughout the year, planned additional community service projects each season and raised money for local charities.”
Connecting beyond the field is particularly important for organizers. When she hosted her first open play event, Opsasnick was among the participants who didn’t know anyone — and she, too, was looking for community. Now she’s found it.
“I was 100% in the same boat as those others who attended open play that day” she says. “I met a couple of people at that point, and it is how I have made all of my friends here.”
Teixeira adds that he has even seen players go on to get married.
“That connection means a lot to a lot of people,” he notes, adding that he once asked a forum of OUT Sports participants the reason behind them joining the league. Their responses surprised him.
“When we asked the group which members joined us to play sports, one person raised their hand,” Teixeira says. “When we asked who joined to meet new people, literally 97% of the people there raised their hands.”
Every LGBTQ+ sports league offers events that are not directly tied to a court, field or game. OUT Sports hosts beach days, a talent show and even a camping retreat that mimics the reality show “Survivor.” The softball leagues hold fundraising events for local charities and HotMess invites the community to its own drag shows that raise money for charitable causes.
For Agagnina, he’s most proud of the Orlando Meltdown Softball Tournament, which has been donating to charities for 26 years. But he wants his organization to do even more.
“I would love to see a scholarship program that the organization creates to give back to a queer athlete coming up, maybe a D1 scholarship or something,” he says. “That would be a point of tremendous pride not only for me as a gay teacher, but as a commissioner of this league.”
SSL is proud of its successful teams and trophies, Frank says, but its greatest accomplishments are the community outreach events it plans.
“Whether that be community service projects we hold each season or the money we raise to support our local charities in the Tampa Bay area, our league has experienced many proud moments throughout the years,” Frank says.
According to Opsasnick, HotMess is all about having fun, being social and enjoying a shared activity. Aggressive behavior or hate is never welcome, and that’s something she monitors. She also encourages her members to get to know each other during and after games.
“Everyone is there for a good time and they know it’s a queer league,” she says. “We welcome everyone, LGBTQ+ and straight … here you can sign up as a free agent and I will place you with an existing team or a bunch of other free agents.
Being thrown in together can be intimidating; but once you meet everyone, it gets easier.”
“Sports may not seem like a logical first instinct for a queer person,” Teixeira notes. “But in the lens of being a recreational sports league, you’re going to have more opportunities and it’s going to be more accessible than you think.”
Ehnes echoes that. He has seen members of HotMess try multiple sports and expand their social circles in the process. As is the case with so many new things, taking that first step is the hardest.
“It’s okay to be nervous and it’s okay to be terrified. I was terrified,” he says. “But once you are out there it’s a very natural progression of humans meeting like-minded humans — and for me that was a pivotal point that changed my life.”
For more information about CFSL and OUT Sports League, visit CFSLeague.org and OUTSportsLeague.com. Learn more about HotMess Sports St. Pete and the SSL at HotMessSports.com/StPetersburg and SuncoastSoftball.org.
